One night, he touched me and aroused me sexually in a way I never knew existed. After this happened to me twice, I determined in my mind that I would never let that happen again. The embarrassment and shame of what happened to me haunted me every day…
When I was a ten-year-old boy, I had what I considered to be a safe relationship with a nineteen-year-old male friend of mine. I would stay the night with him off and on. One night, he touched me and aroused me sexually in a way I never knew existed. After this happened to me twice, I determined in my mind that I would never let that happen again.
Because of this happening to me, I became very confused by the thoughts that came from another male stimulating me like that. I set out to prove to myself, and to everyone else, that I was a man, and even a macho man. The embarrassment and shame of what happened to me haunted me every day.
Eventually, it drove me to the extreme other side. I began to have sex with girls who were 12 and 13 years of age; and by the time I was 13, I was living with an 18-year-old girl and totally hating who I had become. The perverted identity I had of myself followed me into my Christian life and marriage.
It also followed me into every job and everything else I did because I was always trying to prove myself as being a physically and emotionally strong man who didn’t need anyone. I never let myself become emotionally vulnerable with my wife because I perceived that as being weak. It was only after I began to immerse myself in God’s Word and receive a deep and clear revelation of God’s love for me and who I now am IN CHRIST, that I let go of all the condemnation and shame that had attached itself to me for years.
Now, I am vulnerable with my wife, family, and friends. My heart is soft and sensitive to people, and it’s not abnormal for me tear up daily when I talk about God’s love for me. ~
The story above, and all of the testimonies on this website, represent true events in real lives that have been redeemed. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of their families, associated participants, and loved ones who may desire to retain that privacy.
All Rights Reserved © 2015 - 2024 Honorable Intimacy, Inc.